


Things Given, Things Taken

by wordslinger



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, jerza - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-06 06:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordslinger/pseuds/wordslinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only thing he had left to give her was his touch and she could have all of him. Erza seemed to need him next to her as much as he'd grown to need her. He supposed a year wasn't a very long time but it was enough to know how he felt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Her hair was the most beautiful shade of red he'd ever seen. Not quite the same as blood but not exactly the bright color of a bird's feathers either; the word _scarlet_ stuck in his mind. The girl was small and quiet. She was afraid and he'd seen the dirty trails of tears on her cheeks. These things weren't uncommon on the island but her _hair_. He wanted to touch it. He _needed_ to touch it. Even more than that he wanted to see her smile. There was something about the girl and he just... he couldn't leave it alone.

She said her name was Just Erza. Her expression implied she thought herself very plain and unimportant. But there was nothing _Just_ about Erza. Jellal saw his chance and took it. The first time he felt the strands of her beautiful hair slide over the pads of his fingertips he realized he never wanted to stop touching it. _Just Erza._ That simply wouldn't do.

Despite the seemingly uncontrollable forwardness often displayed by children, Jellal recognized that perhaps sharing his own family name with her would be... inappropriate. Instead he gave her something else. Something _better_.

“Such beautiful scarlet hair,” he said, still grasping a section of it between his fingers. “Why don't we call you Erza Scarlet? It's the color of your hair! That way I'll never forget it.” There was some degree of indignant protest from others in the cell but Erza's acceptance was all that mattered.

Not that Jellal would ever need the name to remember her.

* * *

 

Erza cried at night. He hated the sound more than the vicious snarls and barks of the strange creatures the guards used as scare tactics.

“Hey,” Jellal whispered after dragging his own blanket across the hard floor.

She gasped and silenced her cries immediately. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.”

“You didn't.” Her eyes were wide and her face was damp. Jellal scooted closer and when she didn't retreat, even closer. “I saw what happened today. I saw them bullying you.”

“I should learn to be more brave. You can't be brave if you're scared all the time.”

“That's not true.” Jellal pried her hand from the wad of blanket she clutched at her chin. “The only time you _can_ be brave is when you're scared.”

“I don't think I can do both.” Erza sniffled and looked on the verge of tears again.

“Sure you can.” Jellal pushed the roll of extra clothing he used as a pillow right against hers. “You just gotta find the place inside you that's quiet. Then you can think and see it's not as scary as it looks.”

“What if I don't have a quiet place?”

“Everyone's got a quiet place, Erza. Maybe you just don't know where yours is yet.” Jellal carefully peeled the dirty strands of hair from her face and wiped her tears. He closed the remaining gap between them, pressed his forehead to hers and touched her cheek with his hand. “If you concentrate and think about the last place you felt safe, I bet that's where your quiet place is.”

Erza's eyes slid shut and he stayed very still as she tried to relax. She squeezed the hand that still clasped hers and finally sighed. “Thank you. I'll try my best.”

* * *

 

“Why do you have this mark on your face?” Erza asked. Her fingers traced the lines of his tattoo and Jellal watched her eyes follow them with rapt fascination.

“I don't remember,” he said softly. It wasn't a lie. There were a lot of things he simply couldn't conjure in his mind.

“Why not?” Her eyes finally settled on his but her hand didn't leave his cheek.

“I've been away from home for a long time. Do you remember where you came from? Your parents?”

“I don't think I had parents.”

Jellal smiled and nudged her nose with his. “Everyone has to have parents. That's where babies come from.”

“Something probably happened to mine, then. Back home I lived in a house with other kids and a lady, but she wasn't my mom.” Erza paused before blurting out a question. “Would you tell me about _your_ mom?”

“She smiled a lot, I think.” His thoughts drifted to the fuzzy memories of his house. His family. “I remember she would sing to me at night sometimes.” Jellal's fingers strayed into Erza's hair again. He curled the band of red around and around. It was something he did more often than he realized when they were in such close quarters. “I think maybe...” He frowned and desperately tried to recall the right details. “Her songs were in another language. I couldn't always understand the words.”

“That sounds magical,” Erza said wistfully. She was tired and her eyes slowly shut not long after that.

* * *

 

They sat at a small distance from the rest of their group. Erza's hand dug out clumps of wet sand and let the particles dribble through her fingers back into the water. The ocean was terrible for bathing but Jellal preferred it to working. He perched behind her on a rock doing his best to style her short hair into a braid.

“How far do you think it is to the shore?” she asked.

Jellal glanced up and across the open expanse of water. “Probably not as far as it feels like.”

“Too far to swim?”

“Hmm...” he trailed off to focus on the twisted sections of hair he held between each of his fingers. “I think that depends on the tide and currents.” He realized Erza's hair was really too short for these efforts but it was less the finished product and more of the doing he enjoyed. “And the lunar cycle has a lot to do with the water levels, too.”

“What's a lunar cycle?”

“Just the position of the moon. The bigger it is, the higher the water gets on the shore.”

She turned her head slightly and his braid fell apart. “How do you know all that stuff?”

“I don't know.” Jellal shrugged and slid off the rock and into the shallow water next to her. “I just do.”

“Did you go to school before?”

“Yes. I don't remember everything. Most times things just pop into my head.” Erza leaned into his side and rest her head on his shoulder. “What about you?”

“Sometimes. I can read and write a little.” They sat in silence as the water rhythmically pooled around them and drained away.

* * *

 

The temperature had been steadily dropping and Jellal didn't mind sacrificing his roll of extra garments to keep Erza warm at night. She had bruises on her arms that were slow to fade and even as close as they slept, she still shivered. He didn't have healing capabilities but he did what he could to make her comfortable. The only thing he had left to give her was his touch and she could have all of him. Erza seemed to need him next to her as much as he'd grown to need her. He supposed a year wasn't a very long time but it was enough to know how he felt.

“What's your favorite thing to eat?” she asked into the darkness.

Jellal laughed softly and smiled. His thumb brushed over her ear lobe and he settled his fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck. “Anything with cheese on it.”

“We had a lot of cows in Rosemary but not a lot of cheese.” Erza closed her eyes and let her nose and forehead brush his. “I like sweet things best.”

“I'll get you a whole cart full of cake one day,” he whispered as she dropped off to sleep.

Jellal wasn't sure which was worse: the way she used to cry herself to sleep or the way she still shivered despite being pressed against him. He hated being so small and useless.

* * *

 

He thought he'd known rage the first time he saw the guards intentionally frightening Erza with their creatures. He thought he'd experienced the very depths of sorrow when bruises bloomed on her skin after a beating she received for not being physically able to complete a task. He'd thought he'd reached his limit so many times.

But he was wrong.

When Jellal saw what they'd done to her eye – when he saw the hole they left behind... he knew no more. They'd taken something from her and he'd take everything from them.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Some days were better than others but nights were always met with the same dread. She slept alone, woke up alone, and though Erza was surrounded by the members of her new guild, she still considered herself to _be_ alone. Her armor did more than simply protect her body. Locking away her heart was more difficult than she'd anticipated, though, and the process left her in tears more than once.

The unresolved confusion and anger she harbored toward the Jellal that had returned from the rooms of punishment and torture sat untouched on a shelf. Erza chose to mourn the loss of her friend and not acknowledge his betrayal. She couldn't quite face everything that had been taken from her. Not yet.

Days where she found herself the focus of someone's attention were hardest. It was never the attention she wanted. Gray in particular had an obnoxious fascination with her. He was a singleminded boy with his own set of bad memories. Erza supposed she could've answered his questions, and recognized that even a speck of information would've likely appeased his curiosity, but she refused to give him that satisfaction. He didn't truly care about her, he only wanted acknowledgement for himself. His ego grated on her nerves and one day she snapped, leaving him with unquenched rage and a bloody nose.

The river bank was her new new quiet place – or at least she was attempting to make it so. She wanted to feel safe on the grassy slope of earth that overlooked the rushing water but truthfully, Erza knew where her _real_ quiet place was. Despite everything, the last place she'd felt safe was locked in a cell with Jellal. Under their shared blankets existed a dimension where only the two of them existed. She tugged on the edges of her hair but she couldn't replicate the way Jellal's fingers felt grazing along her scalp, cheeks, and neck.

For the first time in just over a year Erza's tears were ones of total despair. Everything she wanted had been stolen from her, warped, and left for ruin on an unreachable island. Maybe if she closed her eyes and really _focused_ she could remember what it felt like to have somebody –

“There you are, Erza!” A voice from behind her scratched all over the smooth surface of her mind. “This is the day I'm gonna beat you!”

 _Gray_. Of course. Why should she expect anything different? Everything else was a continuous parade of disappointments, so why shouldn't the river bank be spoiled, as well? She didn't even bother to wipe her tears before turning to face him.

“You again...” She stood angrily. “Honestly, you just don't learn do you? Fine then. Come and try it.”

The boy faltered. “What's wrong? You surrendering?” He stared at her. “Why are you always on your own?”

“Being with other people just makes me uneasy. I prefer being alone.” It wasn't _exactly_ a lie. Erza didn't _want_ to be by herself, but the person she _needed_ wasn't available.

“Then why were you out here on your own crying?”

Erza didn't answer him and she made sure she kept her tears confined to her pillows from then on. No one would really understand anyway.

* * *

 

So many unexpected things happened that day but the icing on the cake came when he landed directly on top of her. In spite of everything that had transpired between them – a new age gap included – _and_ the fact that not two minutes before she'd slapped him in the face for being a coward, Erza couldn't help but feel the most overwhelming sense of homesickness.

With only the briefest hesitation her hands touched his face. Jellal's fingers slid into her hair as if they'd been there a thousand times before, and his thumb gently brushed away her tears. When he finally spoke again the tone of voice he took with her reached the edges of the box she'd so carefully locked away. The box not even the version of him that had been stripped of all memory – so earnest and penitent – could touch. Only the Jellal that remembered their whispered conversations, shared fears, and dreams could unlock it to easily.

His kiss was brief but filled her soul with such hope not even his lie could taint it.

* * *

 

It wasn't as if her faith in humanity hadn't been tested before. Plenty of times in the past Erza had witnessed situations that made her question the intrinsic goodness of people but it had been a very long time since she'd felt so incredibly worn down.

Kyouka did not posess the power to read minds but her tactics had managed to be the embodiment of everything Erza feared. The lives of her guildmates had been threatened. _Jellal_ had been threatened. She'd been stripped of all clothing and armor to be put on display. As if that hadn't been enough, the physical pain of torture brought her to a small, helpless place in her mind that left her shaking with terror.

“You'll be okay.” The voice she'd wanted to hear most spoke softly from behind her. “Don't worry.”

Since joining Fairy Tail many years before, Erza had frequented the riverbank in an attempt to clear her mind and return to a stillness. Her efforts were mostly met with disappointment because the source of all quietude was hopelessly absent. Hearing his voice, seeing him, and _feeling_ his presence brought forward a surge of unadulterated affection. She didn't question how he'd known where to find her – it was unimportant. For the first time since they were dirty children in chains, Jellal gave her exactly what she needed.

He'd only brushed by, but it was enough.


	3. Chapter 3

The house was dark when he closed the door behind him. He left his cloak on the rack and his boots nearby. Laundry bins lined the short walkway that led to the kitchen and Jellal grabbed a fresh smelling pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt from the basket nearest the door. A small population of used dishes were piled in the sink and the sight of them made him smile. Reminders that he lived surrounded by family brought him happiness – even if the reminders were messy.

A pair of small legs were draped over the arm of the couch. Jellal noticed them as soon as he stepped into the living room. The sleeping boy had an open book across his chest and one arm dangled lazily off the edge of the cushions. His hair was of a familiar blue shade; Erza often joked that he looked so much like his father she would have a hard time telling them apart when he grew up. Jellal crouched beside him, carefully removed the book, and set it aside. The boy stirred and his eyes fluttered open.

“Hey, dad. Did I make it?” he asked quietly.

Jellal chuckled and helped his son into a sitting position. “Did you make what?”

“I wanted to wait up for you.” Ren rubbed his eyes and squinted at the clock above the fireplace. “Have you just come home?”

“I did, and I'm afraid you were sound asleep.” Jellal put on a more serious expression. “Did your mother approve of this plan?”

Ren smiled sheepishly. “I didn't exactly ask her permission.”

“I see.” He took up the book and examined the binding. “Elemental Magic Theory and Practical Application, huh? That's pretty heavy stuff for a kid your age.”

“I wanna be just like you dad. I figure if I work _really_ hard I can be a Wizard Saint by the time I'm fifteen!”

Not wanting to dampen the boy's spirit, Jellal simply reached out and tidied Ren's sleep ruffled hair. “Take it easy on yourself, okay? There's not a rush.”

“Mom told me you'd say that.”

“She knows me pretty well, I guess.” He stood and pulled Ren to his feet. “Let's get you to bed. You don't want to get caught out here in the morning and give yourself away.”

Ren paused and glanced up at Jellal. “You won't rat me out will you, dad? I just wanted to be the first one to see you when you came home.”

“It'll be our secret.” Jellal followed Ren into his room and brought the blankets over him when the boy settled on the bed. “Listen, Ren, about the magic books... magic can be very... consuming. It's one thing to wield a weapon, but it's another to know how to use it.”

“I promise I'm careful.” Jellal stared down into his son's earnest face and smiled. He sat on the edge of Ren's bed and folded his hands together.

“I'm very proud of you.” Ren's face lit up. “And I know you'll be able to accomplish whatever you set your mind to do. Just don't forget to enjoy being a kid.”

“I won't, dad.” Jellal leaned over to ruffle his son's hair once more before leaving him to sleep. When he reached the door, Ren spoke again very softly. “Dad?”

“What is it, son?”

“Will you be home for a while?” Jellal turned back around to face the dark bedroom. “I think mom misses you a lot when you're gone on long trips.”

Jellal felt his chest tighten. “I know she does, and I miss all of you when I'm called away.”

“I wish the council wasn't so selfish,” Ren muttered.

“Would it make you feel better if I told you I won't be going away again for at least another several months?”

Ren yawned widely and rolled over under his blankets. “Yeah, but you should probably tell that to mom.”

“I'll handle your mom.” Jellal watched as Ren's eyes slid shut and his face slackened in sleep. His son showed great promise as a wizard but his real love wasn't in the doing but the _learning how_. His thirst for new things wouldn't be quenched with only the heavy book that still sat on the table in the living room. With Ren there would always be a new hunt and a new chase.

On his way down the hallway toward the bedroom he shared with Erza. Jellal stumbled over a stuffed bunny that squeaked when his foot landed on its belly. He sighed and kicked the toy aside. So much for a stealthy approach. He realized once he peeked in the master bedroom that the bunny hadn't given him away after all. However, it appeared that there would be one last thing he had to take care of before climbing in bed with his wife.

A tangle of red hair, too dark to be Erza's, fanned out over his pillow. The body the hair was attached to took up an astonishing amount of room, as well. Hoshi commanded quite a bit of room in general, though. She reminded Jellal of himself when he was much younger. His daughter may have been similar to Erza in appearance but her personality was just as audacious as his used to be. At three years old, Hoshi was already a force to be reckoned with.

Jellal slid his arms around her small form and, even in sleep, Hoshi wrapped herself around him like an octopus. He tossed his pajamas on the bed before heading back down the hallway to put his daughter to bed. Her hands had to be pried from his clothes and once he pulled away, Hoshi's eyes flew open.

“Daddy,” she whispered loudly. “Where's Fufu?” Her question seemed to come from nowhere but she had no understanding of context. Jellal pressed his finger to his lips in a shushing motion and stepped back outside her room to grab the stuffed pink bunny he'd tripped over before.

“You can't leave Fufu in the hallway, okay? She'll get lost.” Jellal handed over the rabbit and Hoshi clutched it to her chest with a giggle.

“Silly daddy. Fufu is a boy!”

“Boys can get just as lost as girls.” He poked her in the belly before pulling the blankets up to her chin. “Get some sleep, okay?”

Hoshi reached out to him and tugged on the front of his shirt. Jellal stretched out next to her and she smiled sleepily as she touched the stubborn strands of hair that always hung in his eyes.

“Your hair is softer than mommy's,” she said quietly.

“Is it?”

“Yep. I like it better. How come you gave your hair to Ren and not me?”

Jellal smiled and nudged Hoshi's smaller nose with his. “You have your mom's hair and it's the most beautiful hair in the world.”

“It's _red_.”

“That's what makes it special.” Jellal curled a strand of Hoshi's hair around his finger. “Did you know that your mom's hair was the first part of her I ever loved?”

Hoshi sighed and smiled. “Will you tell me about it?”

“Soon. For now, though, you need to go to sleep.”

“Okay, daddy.” Hoshi held Fufu against her chest and stuffed her hands beneath the pillow. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Jellal kissed her forehead and eased out of her ridiculously tiny bed. He shut her door as quietly as possible and sucked in a surprised breath when a pair of arms slid around his waist.

“You're home,” Erza breathed into his back. “I missed you.”

His hands covered hers and gently squeezed. “So I hear.”

“Ren is too observant for his own good,” she huffed. Jellal turned in her embrace and smiled down at her.

“You don't think it's a good thing for him to see that you miss me?” He couldn't stop himself from drawing his fingers through her hair. He'd been doing it without thought since he was a child and now that Erza was a permanent fixture in his life he had no intention of stopping.

“I suppose it's not the worst thing.” Erza moved her arms from around his waist to his neck. She leaned up to press her forehead against his. “I'm glad you're back.”

“I hate being away for so long,” he said brushing her cheek with his lips.

“It's only a few times a year and I don't want you to feel guilty about it.” Erza pulled back and looked up and into his eyes. He smiled and kissed her mouth.

“I'll try to reign in the guilt.”

“I'm serious, Jellal. Just because I miss you blatantly enough for Ren to notice doesn't mean I don't understand why you're gone.” She hugged him close again and sniffed his shirt. “You smell like the road.”

“Well before you accosted me in this hallway, I'd planned on bathing before you had a chance to smell me.” Erza smiled up at him and pulled him down the hallway and into their room.

“You do that and then I want to show you something.”

“Something?”

“Yes, Jellal, _something_. So hurry up.”

The hot water was exactly as refreshing as he wanted it to be. The side-effect, however, was exhaustion. By the time he stepped from the spray and wrapped himself in a towel all Jellal wanted was to fall into his pillows and sleep for ten hours.

Erza had different plans. As soon as he was next to her she slid her hand below the waistband of his pants.

“You shouldn't have bothered with these,” she purred. Even though he was beyond tired, and even though he'd been awake for the better part of the last forty-eight hours, Erza's touch awakened a primal need within him.

Jellal grasped her wrist and pinned the exploratory hand above her head as he rolled over on top of her. His hand moved upwards and his fingers pressed between hers. He kissed her slowly but with building vivacity. When his tongue brushed against her lips, Jellal felt a low moan in her chest. He knew her body was strong but she was still soft beneath him. His hand at her waist skimmed over her rib cage to settle over her breast. Erza arched her body into him and wrapped a leg around his hip.

“I'm not feeling especially patient, Jellal,” she whispered against his lips. Though he would've been happy to slowly bring his wife to the heights of trembling ecstasy he knew himself capable of he obliged her with a quick entrance. Erza gasped and he used the opportunity to take her open mouth in a plundering kiss.

Erza's fingernails dug into the back of the hand that still held her in place and her breaths were laced with sharp-edged gasps that shot straight down to where his own desire was seated. She tightened her fingers in his hair and her legs about his waist. He knew she wouldn't last long if he pressed the right buttons.

His mouth moved to her neck and Jellal sucked in the soft skin there forcefully. Erza let out a mixture of mostly inaudible words and he felt the first flutters of her impending climax.

“Erza,” he groaned softly against the reddened skin of her neck. The quiet tone of voice directly contrasted with his firm grip on her breast and the strength of his thrusts.

He pulled away from her shoulder to watch the tension break across her face in the most erotic way he'd ever seen. Her eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted – the bottom swollen because her teeth had been digging into it only seconds before. Jellal kissed her softly but didn't even try to hold back on himself. He couldn't imagine surviving the slow seduction he'd been attempting earlier. Not anymore.

Jellal's head dropped and he winced as he slid out of her and to the side. Erza rolled over as well and pressed her body against his. She kissed his forehead, his cheeks, the dark tattoo that still marked his face and finally his lips.

“I love you,” she murmured. His hand snaked over her hip and around her waist lazily.

“I love you, too,” he managed just before falling asleep.

The next morning as Hoshi attached randomly selected clips to his messy bed hair during breakfast, Jellal thought himself the luckiest man alive. Yes, Erza was a gift he never thought he deserved, but it wasn't just about them anymore. Together they'd given each other a family and that overshadowed everything that had ever been taken.

 


End file.
